When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and driving against traffic.

A DAY WITHOUT SUNSHINE IS LIKE NIGHT.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

Originality is the art of concealing your sources.

Shin-Device for finding furniture in the dark.

WHICH IS THE NON-SMOKING LIFEBOAT?

COLE'S LAW:
Thinly sliced cabbage.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

I CAN RESIST EVERYTHING BUT TEMPTATION

No sense being pessimistic. 
It would work anyway.

I intend to live forever.
So far, so good!

Your just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

Follow me to Shark City.

DYSLEXICS OF THE WORLD, UNTIE.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

Clones are people two.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

EVER STOP TO THINK, AND FORGET TO START AGAIN?

If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you.